Trick or Treat at Udall Park

Tucson Old Timers (TOTS)

60-and-over baseball

OK. Don't get me started. On second thought get me started.

The 60-and-over Tucson Old Timers played their Halloween Game at Udall Park this morning. It was down hill from there. The goblins were definitely out in force in the person of old men who just don't know any better.

First off, one of the Tucson Old Timers, 76-year-old Miguel Urtaza — our only player from south of the border...somewhere down in Mexico where they celebrate Halloween on a different day, something called "The Day of the Dead" —  shows up in the dugout as a Nun -- not just any Nun, but a pregnant Nun  (don't lose me here, please).

One of our normal players, Ron Carlson, a 71-year-old catcher, closes his eyes, smiles and says, "I've seen the Flying Nun, but never a pregnant Nun!"

So, the game begins with some players muttering under their breath, "why bother?"

By the middle of the game, Urtaza returns. He may have gone to a nunnery to change clothes. Who knows? Urtaza, a New York Yankee fan at heart, shows up in a new costume. This time he has on a Los Angeles Angels jersey and he's suddenly turned into Mike Trout.

There is still a game to be played, only the guy calling balls and strikes is none other than 81-year-old TOT Robert Royer, who is disguised as a blind umpire. As the game proceeds, balls are called strikes and strikes are called balls. Things have gone from bad to worse and it is not even nightfall yet.

There was a game played. Team White won 7-2 over Team Blue as joltin' Joe Opocensky goes the distance and picks up the win, while Ron Ryan hurls the first three innings and is saddled with the loss. The hard-throwing Reed Palmer comes on in the fourth, without a costume on -- I may add --  and puts out the fire the rest of the way.

By the sixth inning, the game turns into the "bewitching" hour and by the seventh inning every one on the field assumes Babe Ruth himself will show up. After Miguel's antics, having Ruth step to the plate seems almost like a normal conclusion to the game.

One thing is for certain, the old-timers will be home in a few hours. They will shower, find their favorite chair, sit down and await the real goblins -- the kids in the neighborhood. Little will the children know the "real fun" happened hours ago at Udall Park.


Photo: The TOTS' only Nun. May he rest in peace.